6 Things I Didn’t Expect While Engaged

6 Things I Didn't Expect While Engaged

As of yesterday, Mr. M and I have been married longer than we have been engaged. Hallelujah.

I remember being SO excited for the engagement season. I wanted to take it all in and enjoy every moment because I knew I could never get back those 7 months of engaged bliss (I think we’re calling that mindfulness nowadays?). Now, I would never want back those 7 months of engaged bliss, because they weren’t always bliss. Of course, there were exciting moments, but there were more moments of tears, arguing, and stress than I expected. There are a lot of things that the Knot or Wedding Wire will tell you (which are great resources, btw) but there are a few things people won’t tell you, and I think it’s important that you know. . .

6 Things I Didn't Expect While Engaged

Everyone says the time will fly by. . . 

And yes, on your wedding day you will look back and think “Oh my gosh, that went by so quickly!” But the days seem long when you’re in the thick of everything.

You may will be full of butterflies and joy. . . 

Sweetheart, those butterflies are from anxiety and excitement combined, and joy comes in those moments where you sit back and remember that you get to be with your favorite person forever. Also, donuts. Joy comes in those sour cream donuts your fiance brings you because you are #stressed

You will hardly fight with your fiance. . . 

You are literally tying two families together forever. You are bringing in two flawed humans and figuratively sewing your lives together. You are bringing in two different backgrounds, family cultures, opinions, favorite foods, favorite routines and trying to merge them. Not only that, you are also planning a wedding. With two families, who each have opinions, who have expectations.

It’s exhausting. You and your fiance will fight. And if you don’t, I’m worried for you. Go to counseling. Actually, go to counseling anyway. Counseling is important.

6 Things I Didn't Expect While Engaged

You are overwhelmed by love. . . 

Mr. M and I had serious FOMO after our wedding was over. We went back to our hotel and had our own thing to do, but we knew we had just experienced the beauty of all our favorite people coming together in one place, and some of them were still hanging out . . . without us. I miss the engagement season solely because I miss my girls. The engagement season was one of those times where I was overwhelmed and so thankful because I had such wonderful friends, family, and family-in-law love on Mr. M and I in incredible ways.

You may get 4 toasters. . . 

When you have a big family and your husband has a big family, and you have great church families, sometimes you get four wedding showers. I’m not complaining. Some of the most special gifts we received was a Zimbabwean style print dress & matching shirt for Mr. M and I to wear at our rehearsal dinner. We also ended up with four toasters and seven throws by the end of it all. Note: if you get seven throws, keep them. If you get four toasters, return three and put it towards a cappuccino machine.

It’s all about your favorite person. . .

There were so many moments where I would lose it; I was overwhelmed, I was stressed, I just wanted a nap. Planning a party for 350 people was a little cray cray. But I had so much help from my mom-in-love, my mom, my sister, my co-workers, my friends, and most importantly, my husband – who said he wanted to be involved in all the decision making. (Bless his heart.) Planning our wedding together was amazing in that it taught us how to communicate, how to love each other when one of us (me) was being a crazy person, and how to problem solve. There were lots of cuddles, lots of prayers, and lots of reminding ourselves that the most important moment of it all is when we said “I do.”

6 Things I Didn't Expect While Engaged

If you’re married, what surprised you about the engagement season?

If you’re not married, what are you most looking forward to about being engaged one day (if you decide to get married. If you don’t, yay! Singleness! Feminism! You get to eat all the ice cream you want and watch all your favorite shows without someone wanting to change the channel!)

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