10 Facts that Prove Coffee Isn’t Bad for You

10 Proven Facts Coffee Isn't Bad for You

Every morning as I’m walking out the door, my (sweet, awesome, hott) husband hands me a tumbler of coffee, and I swear it makes me want to marry him all over again. In case you didn’t know, I’m obsessed with coffee. I love to drink it, smell it, try it in new ways. Earlier this summer, we had dinner with our friends and they served us Brazilian coffee after dinner. AKA espressos in the cutest little espresso cups. I fell in love.

I could talk about coffee all day long. Coffee fuels us. It brings people together. It makes people fall in love. (No, seriously.)

But sometimes there are those haters. There are those people who say, “Coffee is bad for you.” These are the kind of people I want to sic Lorelai Gilmore on. But instead, I would like to counter that argument with some hard facts.*

10 Facts That Prove Coffee Isn't Bad For You

Fact #1: Coffee is not bad for you because it gives you energy.

Sure, caffeine is the number one drug used in America, and sure it sounds bad if you say caffeine is a “drug.” But do you know what is also a drug? Ibuprofen. And if I don’t get my coffee fix, you can bet four of those little suckers are going straight to my liver ASAP because no coffee = major headache and low, low productivity performance. No one wants that.

Fact #2: Coffee is great for your digestive system.

Have you ever got 1/4 of the way through your morning cup and had to head off to spend some time in “the Oval Office” as they so call it? If you’re ever feeling constipated, just drink some coffee and BOOM praise the Almighty because your colon is cleared!

Fact #3: Coffee puts you in a good mood.

This is a proven fact. For me at least. And probably because I enjoy the smell of coffee. When I wake up in the morning to the smell of coffee brewing downstairs, I know today is going to be an OK day. When I’m having a hectic day and I step inside my favorite artisan coffee shop, I know all will be right with the world as soon as my cinnamon and honey cappuccino is in my hands. If your girl is in a bad mood, bring her some coffee. It will make her fall in love with you and put her in a better mood.

10 Facts That Prove Coffee Isn't Bad For You

Fact #4: Coffee keeps you from killing people.

We all know this. When someone is getting on my nerves, I have to take a deep breath, take a long sip of my coffee, put in my headphones, and pray to Jesus. It’s a four step process, but it works.

Fact #5: Coffee is healthy.

Coffee comes from a bean. . . beans are like vegetables. . . so by the transitive property, coffee is healthy. Right? I think right. . .

Fact #6: Coffee helps you live longer with a better quality of life.

Years ago when I was in college speech class, I did a whole informative presentation on the benefits of coffee. I had several sources that said that a) coffee helps you live longer and b) those who drink coffee on the reg decrease their chances of getting dementia. So anytime someone tells you coffee is bad for you, tell them to put down their soda, you’re choosing life.

currently very caffeinated 🙃☕️

A post shared by Christine drawing Krysteen (@yeahitschill) on

Fact #7: Coffee is a great ice breaker

Want to make a new friend? Ask him/her out for coffee! It’s not the commitment that dinner or inviting them over to your house is, but it also shows that you’re willing to go the extra mile and sit down with them in an artisan coffee shop and make eye contact with them for at least an hour.

Fact #8: Coffee relieves the awkward

OK so what if your friend date, first date, or tense conversation isn’t going well? You can look at your coffee, you can take a sip of your coffee. It is the physical manifestation of “Um.” Don’t know what to do with your hands? That’s what coffee is for.

Fact #9: Coffee is a great perfume.

I often smell like my grandmother (who smells like coffee) because I spill coffee on myself. While it may not be Dolce & Gabanna, at least it’s an attractive homey scent. You know all those older people that smell like coffee and you just want to give them a hug because they smell like comfort? You can smell like comfort, too! All it takes is one little spill and you’ll have a nice tan stain on your cream colored shirt and smell like a delicious cup of comfort.

Fact #10: Coffee gives you something to photograph.

Are you an amateur instaphotographer like me? Don’t know what to shoot? Take fun, artsy pictures of the artsy latte art that someone else did! It makes you look legit, and gets you thousands of coffee shop followers. #CoffeeisLife

10 Facts that Prove Coffee Isn't Bad for You

 

*These facts are not 100% scientifically proven by a study. They are proven from my daily life experiences.

How about you? Are you Pro Coffee or Pro Tea? What keeps you caffeinated during the day? How do you keep from strangling annoying people?

3 Tips for Changing Your Name

3 Tips for Changing Your Name

Good morning.

I am officially no longer a citizen under my maiden name. I’m a new person, according to the government. When people read my name, they’re going to be very surprised to see a tiny, little white girl showing up behind a long, Zimbabwean name.

So I go to the DMV this morning; last week I saw Zooptopia twice. These are related because in Zootopia there are sloths. There is a DMV. At the DMV (in Zootopia), the workers are SLOTHS. This was my favorite part of the movie. Now, I love living in a semi-small town in the South because the DMV is a piece of cake. The longest I’ve ever had to wait was when I was 16 and needed to take my driving test. Since then, it’s only been like a 10-20 minute wait, so I’m grateful.

I know that many a lady has complained about the name-changing process being a hassle. Compared to getting our marriage certificate, this has been a walk in the park. Here’s a funny story about getting our marriage certificate.

One day my handsome fiance and I stroll into the DMV to get our marriage certificate. We are so anxious for the Chickfila that is awaiting us afterwards (we may have a problem) that we rush through the thing. We give our info. We give our “proof of counseling” notarized card (btw, highly suggest; it discounted the cost almost 50% for us.) We smile as we sign, holding hands and making googly eyes at each other because OMG in 3 weeks we are about to be husband and wife and go to the beach and get it on. By get it on, I mean getting our beach life on. Obviously. I love the beach.

A couple days later, I need Pai’s social security number to add him as a beneficiary on my retirement plan. He sends me his SSN with the cool invisible ink feature on our phones and I notice Hey. . . this is not the same number on our marriage certificate.

So at lunch that day we go BACK to the DMV so Pai can write down his proper SSN.

We get in the car. New, fresh license in hand and Pai looks at our marriage certificate and says, “Wait. . . this doesn’t look right.” WHAT. WHO HAVE I BEEN MARRIED TO TWICE ALREADY?!

A few days later, Pai brings his social security card with him to the DMV. We do the walk of shame in. To get a marriage certificate. For the third time. The lady laughed. We laughed. We’re officially married to each other. I also have his SSN memorized for myself in case he ever needs it again.

All that to say – getting my driver’s license was easy-peasy lemon squeezy.

When I got there 2 minutes after the DMV opened, there were already 5 people in front of me. Evidently it’s everyone’s idea to get in and get it done first thing in the morning. Where are the procrastinators?!

And then the automated voice that calls the ticket numbers SOUNDS like the sloth from Zootopia. “Now calling A. . . . . 0. . . . .0. . . .4”

I go up to my counter and guess what. THERE’S A SLOTH ON THE COUNTER. “Oh my gosh, is that from Zootopia?!” Don’t even ask. The lady tells me.

sloths at DMV

For all my pale, Caucasian ladies, here’s a little tip for you newbies getting married in the winter time.

DMV Name Changing Tip # 1

Wait until the summer to change your license picture. Winter time Christina – looks like a vampire. Summer time Christina – isn’t tan, but isn’t suuuuper white. She just looks like a normal human being. But winter time driver’s license photo? I could give Edward Cullen a run for his money. Can we just all agree that driver’s license pictures should a) be selfies with the XX Pro filter on it or b) your favorite picture from Facebook or c) a wedding photo? Let’s be real, the wedding day is going to be the only day of your life where you feel the prettiest you’ve ever felt.

DMV Name Changing Tip # 2

DON’T WEAR BROWN EYESHADOW. I am admittedly pretty boring in my color selection. I like the browns on my eyes and I like the greys and blacks for my clothes. Once my sister got me a purple scarf “because you just wear a lot of grey.” This morning I contemplated being adventurous and wearing my Urban Decay Smog pallette. It is a Friday, after all. But I thought “noooo. You don’t want your eyes to party TOO hard in your license picture.” Instead I put on some lipstick and lipgloss to make sure my lips were poppin. M.I.S.T.A.K.E. Not only do I look like a vampire, my eyes say “I can’t open them all the way because I’ve not finished my coffee and I look sick. I’m not sick, it’s just the choice of brown eyeshadow. It really helps my white skin to glow even more.”

DMV Name Changing Tip #3

Curl your hair. It adds volume, taking up the entire photo frame, making sure there is minimal blue space behind you.

It took me 4 tries to fit my new name on my license. It all just looks like little squiggles. I need a cup of coffee.

The Middle School of Adulthood

I swear being an early 20something is like going through the middle school of adulthood.

 

The Middle School of Adulthood

Our bodies are going through so many new changes. Our metabolism is already slowing down, we’re growing hair in weird places, and we’re not entirely comfortable yet with being an “adult.”

I went to college right after high school, lived in a dorm, and was blessed to not have to pay many bills until after college. I never lived by myself until I got a full-time job. And that’s when ish hit the fan. It took me a whole year to adjust to working this 9-5 life, paying bills, and budgeting. The word gives me shivers. My bank texted me at 6 this morning with my updated balance. I slept fitfully for the next hour and a half, trying to figure out how I was going to celebrate 3 weddings and a my brother’s birthday this month. I woke up, frightened, and also late for work. You’re all getting bunt cake pans for your weddings. Congratulations on your marriage, and may your love be forever. That’s what this heart shaped bunt will say.

And let it be known – the only unwise purchase I have made so far was buying gelato on Monday night.

I never buy ice cream. But Monday night I knew I was going to be sad and grumpy because the day was so long, so I bought gelato. It was a moment of weakness. I couldn’t decide what I wanted. I was between the the Double Dark Chocolate, and the Coffee Chocolate Chip. But then I saw it was 2 for $7.

I slipped into a bubble bath, with Friends on the Netflix, a green acne clay mask on my face, and ate the Double Dark Chocolate gelato last night. I was the epitome of a 20something female. It was cute.

Middle School of Adulthood

And lets talk about this hair growing in weird places. One day I was just casually putting my makeup on in my dorm room by the natural light (because that’s the most honest light, right? It’s terrifying.) I discovered a little eyeliner pencil mark on my chin. I wiped it off. Except I didn’t wipe it off. I looked closer and there was a teeny tiny hair. Light black. One would say light black could almost be. . .grey. Oh! The horrors!!! How could I have grey hair?! On my chin no less! Before I was even 20?! Yes. I’m sad to say that I started growing chin hairs at 19. I’m feeling my chin right now. So far I think I’ve plucked them all today. There are 4 now. One for every year since I found a chin hair. I admitted to Pai the other day that I do, in fact, grow chin hair. Like all mammals. He said, “Yeah I saw one the other day.” And you didn’t tell me?! “I didn’t want to make you feel insecure!” He says. Great. I might as well just grow a whole dang beard. See how he likes that.

Speaking of insecure. . . . when I was an insecure middle schooler, I thought I would have everything figured out by the time I was in my 20s. I thought I would never feel insecure about my hair, that my chest wouldn’t be these weird triangle things, I would grow out of the pimples, and that I wouldn’t feel awkward or vulnerable about my quirky personality. Even though some things have rounded out, I am distraught to announce I have more acne now, I had to cut a huge chunk out of my hair yesterday because I forgot to brush it and it turned into this big, unmanageable knot, and I still feel awkward and vulnerable about my quirky personality.

Sorry, thirteen year olds who are reading this now. Your eyebrows are more on fleek than mine, and you can even do your makeup better. (Note: Why do you contour? How do you contour?) You go through this period in high school where you feel like everyone notices every little thing about you. Then you go to college and have this inflated sense of confidence, you turn into a feminist, and you consider not shaving your underarms or wearing makeup ever again. Then you graduate college, lose that inflated sense of confidence, shave your underarms, put on the makeup to cover the horrendous adult acne, and realize that not everyone notices every little thing about you.

And then you become slightly jealous of the thirteen year olds who can do their makeup and take selfies better than you.

Stress Dreams [Vol. 1]

Because I am will likely have multiple stress dreams. . .

Stress Dreams

Holy Guacamole, Batman. May is already over and June is here! The last month absolutely flew by. It was a big month for me, though, ya know . . . getting engaged and all. #casual

This upcoming month is pretty big for me as well, seeing that it’s my birthday month and yes, I am one of those people. I celebrate my birthday month. Why? I don’t know. It didn’t even start until I was in college.  I decided that one day in June wasn’t enough. I didn’t even want a birthday week. A whole month would do. Eventually I might just celebrate a whole birthday year! I mostly do it just to be obnoxious to Pai, or tweet it out. It’s important to celebrate your birthday month because it’s basically a big “treat yo’self” month. Want that latte? Treat yo’self. Want to buy that book? Treat yo’self. Want to take a nap? Treat yo’self.

Speaking of naps, almost anytime I am asleep I dream. . .a lot. I dream almost every night and usually I have about 2-3 dreams per night and most of the time I remember at least one or all of them. And they all are very vivid dreams. Somewhere I read that when you dream, it only lasts about 3 seconds. I have no clue how that is even possible because my dreams are so detailed. I don’t know how my brain could pull that off in 3 seconds.

Lately I’ve started dreaming about weddings. I used to have nightmares about weddings when I was younger, and that’s how I knew I was nowhere near ready to get married. Then I occasionally had happy dreams about weddings when I was dating Pai. Well, it’s back to wedding nightmares, or as I like to call them: Stress Dreams. So far I’ve only had 2. But that almost equals out to one a week since we’ve only been engaged for 3. . . and because I am a lifestyle blogger, I’m going to share my wedding stress dreams with you.

Wedding Stress Dream #1

In real life, Pai and I toured a venue a couple of weeks ago that was a great price, but wasn’t the best set up because the reception area was broken up into 3 different rooms, and who wants to be in 3 different rooms at a wedding? My mom says no one. I say the wedding crashers who are there only for the delicious cake. So we said adios to that venue. But then I had a dream that night that this was the only venue available in the entire city that was open on the date we have picked for our wedding. Neither of us really wanted it, but we weren’t waiting until after Christmas to get married. I had booked the venue, but the coordinator calls me to tell me that there is another person who wants to book the venue for that same night. Even though we already paid, she was offering the venue to this other person because they were offering more money for it. I go into this bidding war with this other person (think: Bride Wars style) because I will get married on the date we picked. I then find out later who I’m bidding up against: my ex boyfriend (who is also engaged in real life). He doesn’t even live here! No one won because my alarm clock woke me up just in time to discover I was never in a bidding war and I was late to work.

Wedding Stress Dream #2

My second dream was less vivid and more chaotic. I realized, at the altar, that I wasn’t registering anything Pai was saying at all during our vows, and that the entire day had already been a blur (which I am sure will happen, but I’m going to fight that with all I can. #memories). I also remembered in the middle of the ceremony that we forgot to hire a videographer and that some of our bridal party didn’t show up. I tried to stop the ceremony so we could take some time, regroup, and start all over so I could remember everything. That produced even more chaos. My alarm clock woke me up and I sighed with relief that it’s only May, not December, and we aren’t married yet, and I was late to work.

I didn’t eat chocolate before bed, nor did I drink caffeine past 10am yesterday, but I did eat some salty, spicy chicken after I worked out last night. So I guess the key to not having stress dreams is to forgo working out before bed.

What kind of stress dreams to do you have/can you even remember all of your dreams? Tell me in the comments so I don’t look like a crazy person. Help.

How to Ask a Girl on a Date

How To- Ask a Girl on a Date

Fellas,

What are you doing with your lives? There are hundreds of beautiful women around you, yet you sit at home in your boxers playing Super Smash Brothers. Maybe you occasionally swipe right on Tinder. Maybe you occasionally ask a girl if you can buy her a beer when you’re at the bar. But you’re doing it all wrong.

I have a good friend, Regina Phalange*, who told me a story the other day about how this guy decided on the last day of class to confess his undying love for her. They were all celebrating the end of a very hard year of graduate school, and he thought this was the appropriate time to drop the feelings bomb. “Regina Phalange, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve had feelings for you all year.” Regina Phalange, distraught, calls me the next day and recounts the whole experience.

“WHY CAN’T THEY JUST ASK ME ON A DATE?! No one does that anymore! I’m more likely to say yes if you ask me out for coffee than if you tell me all your feelings. I don’t need to know your feelings right away. Just give me coffee!”

So I consoled her and told her I would write a How-To that she can share on her wall so that all future eligible bachelors can have an idea of what do with their lives when they come across an intimidatingly beautiful, confident, caring, compassionate, and stunner of a woman such as she.

What Not To Do: 

Go up to a girl and confess that you have feelings for her. ESPECIALLY if you do not even have a friendship beforehand. That’s just plain weird. And creepy!

Go up to a girl when she is drinking a light beer and ask her if she is drinking water. Are you trying to offend her?

Keep flirting with her if she gives you the cold shoulder.

Keep trying to talk to her if you can see very clearly from her body language that she wants you to go. away.

Use a gross pick up line on her.

Walk up to her with your cocky self pretending you are the bee’s knees and she would move all of heaven and earth just to be with you. Guess what? She won’t. As Beyonce says, you’re probably not irreplacable. (To the left, to the left.)

Swipe right on the Tinder.

Text her and say, “wuzzup.”

What To Do:

Call the girl. It’s bold, it’s cute, it’s chivalrous.

Ask her out for coffee.

If coffee goes well, ask her out to dinner.

Do not be overly flirty.

Do not be overly touchy – or touchy at all. It’s gross. Wait until you two like, actually know each other.

If dinner goes well, ask her out again. Do something fun/and or adventurous. Go bowling. Or hiking. On second thought, maybe not hiking. (One time this guy wanted to pick me up and take me to a hiking spot 2-3 hours away. Umm no. I was not trying to become a Cold Case file that day.)

If by the third date you’re both feeling the flirty vibes, then maybe you can talk about the feels. Maybe. It’s helpful if you can pick up on body language and flirty signals. I wish men could do that. I feel like they can’t. Or maybe they can, but they just ignore it and are up for a challenge.

Pursue a friendship first. If you go for the gold first (the gold being the kisses) then it’s going to fall flat and once you’re both finished with grad school you’ll just sit there and stare at each other because you don’t know what to say to each other anymore because you’re not actually friends.

Find common interests. Talk about intellectual things. Talk about things that are important to each other. Don’t always talk about yourself. And once again,

DON’T CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER BEFORE YOU ASK HER ON A STINKING DATE. 

*Regina Phalange is not this person’s real life name. But if it was, she would be even cooler than she already is.

For more advice on dating relationships (since I am obviously now an expert. . . ), please tweet me @ninamw01.