Celebrate Who You Are

Take your insecurities and line them up with the truth: You are awesome.

Something I’ve learned to admit is that I’m insecure. We all are, and it isn’t said enough.

I don’t believe in announcing my insecurity to have someone say, “Oh you shouldn’t be insecure because you are a/b/c.” I believe in admitting my insecurity because so many of us – especially women – walk around exuding confidence in such a way that we trick ourselves into thinking no one else sees our insecurities and no one else in the world is insecure. It then becomes an isolating circle of “fake it till you make it” and “what if someone finds out?!”

A guy in college once said I had “little man’s syndrome” and I didn’t know how to take it. Yes I was little, but I didn’t believe I was overly confident to make up for something I lacked. Yes, I am loud, I can command a room, and I have such a firm handshake that once a man said “Don’t break my arm!” And then I became insecure about my handshake. I’ve since tried to soften it. Although I was confident (and still am), I still had insecurities. My confidence wasn’t a cover up, but it was something instilled in me by people who loved me and poured into me. It was a personality trait I carried because I knew the truth: that I had a God who loved me and continued in faithfulness to me (Jer 33:3.) I was confident because I knew that I had people in my corner. But sometimes that confident exterior fades, and we are left with the lurking feelings of “maybe I’m not confident. Maybe I can’t do this. Maybe I’m not lovely.”

Breaking News: We are all insecure 

I don’t say I’m insecure so that I can gain your sympathy. I want to empathize with you. Because I know you, too, are exhausted. You, too, are worried that someone will find out who you really are. What if you fail? Will people think you are weak?

Our insecurity lies in the evaluation and validation of others rather than in the evaluation and validation of the Lord. Our insecurity lies in our evaluation of ourselves. We often see the worst of ourselves. We look in the mirror every morning before work and only we can see the pimple that is actually covered by our hair the rest of the day. We drive home from work in the evenings, over analyzing the day and everything we said. What if someone took what I said the wrong way? Why did I make that face when so and so said that? Did someone see past my false confidence? My mama always said I was my own worst critic. I see every flaw I have, and as a perfectionist, am very unforgiving towards myself.

Dwell on who you are instead of what you are not.

I’ve realized that I am sinning. By not appreciating and celebrating who I am and who God made me, I’m spitting into the face of the Creator. When I dwell on my insecurities, I am dwelling on what I am not.

I am saying that I am not good enough. I am saying that I am not likable. I am saying that I am not worthy of love – love from friends, love from my family, love from my husband, and most importantly love from my Creator.

And there are some truths in there – I am not the best, nor will I ever be. I will never ever be the best WNBA player because I’m only 5 foot 0 and my 5th grade basketball coach never let me play a game unless we were winning by a mile or losing by a long shot. But I am good at some things. I am good at writing, I am a good cook, I am good at encouraging. To some people, I may not be likable. I am loud, I talk a lot, sometimes I speak before I think. But to others, I am likable. I can be funny, I can listen, I can offer a hug, I can offer friendship.

But one thing I am most definitely not is unworthy of love. And neither are you. You belong to someone. You are lovely. You are beautiful, gracious, and kind. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139.)

Confront your insecurities.

Take your insecurities and write them out. Yes, it will be scary. Write them in a secret place and then take a step back and look.

Maybe you are insecure about your job performance at work. Write down the things you do well at your job.

Maybe you are insecure about the way you engage in small talk. Watch some TED talks. Read books, follow a Twitter account with a bunch of random factoids so you can pull one out at a moment’s notice.

Turn to the truth. Next to those insecurities, write down the truths that counter act those insecurities and press them into your heart. Surround yourself with people who will be honest, loving, and encourage you. Surround yourself with people who will speak the truth to you in love. Look towards who God says you are rather than what the world says.

Celebrate who you are, because you are freaking awesome. 

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