Eat Your Pancakes {Girl Between the Lines}


As I sat in my first class of the semester – a 400 level Victorian literature class, I tried to decipher whether or not the burning sensation in my stomach was from hunger (I just ate a bowl of cereal right before the class) or if it was the onset of an ulcer. I’ve never experienced an ulcer, but I’m certain if I am to get one, this is the semester for the painful atrocity to occur.
Even if I wasn’t taking 18 hours (2 higher level English classes, 2 300 level psychology classes, online statistics [insert look of despair] and speech), I would be stressed out by this one Victorian Literature class alone.

This semester seems like I am going to have to devote all of my time to reading and writing. Which, what would I expect? I’m a double major. It was my own choice to major in English.

When I told my Dad I have to take online statistics, he covered his face and let out a dramatic OH NO. You’re going to hate statistics. You hate math! And the fact I have to teach myself will make it even worse.

I am unbelievably stressed and I still have four more classes to attend over the next two days. I’m not the type of person to cry when I am stressed, but I am on the verge. So if I may turn into Waterworks Wendy this semester, and that’s okay.

My dad gave me some great advice though, and this time, I’m definitely going to heed it.

Eat your pancakes.

Eat your pancakes? What? Are they gluten-free? Do I get to add peanut butter? What if I don’t like  pancakes??? 


But it goes like this:

Say you have 20 pancakes you have to eat every single day. You get tired of pancakes, so you only eat ten, and then put them off until the next day. On the following day, you now have 30 pancakes. The 30 pancakes seem so daunting, that you just simply give up and put them off until the next day. Well then the next day instead of your normal 20 pancakes, you have 50 and you still have to eat all of them.

No one wants to eat 50 pancakes. Not even I, and I love pancakes.

But if you work at eating your 20 pancakes a day, 5 in the morning, 5 at lunch, 3 for an afternoon snack, 5 at dinner, and 2 for a midnight snack, you’re going to get your 20 pancakes a day eaten. You’ll be sick of pancakes, but you’ll get it done.

Likewise, when you (in this instance, me) have overwhelmed yourself (myself) with a ridiculous amount of classes and hard course work, the best thing to do is stay on top of things, and do the work every single day, even when it gets boring and I’m sick of it.

Either that or find a Time-Turner. 


(I found one on Ebay for 3.99. I’m buying myself a “good luck on the semester” present.)


Shameles “first day of school outfit” selfie. I was really hoping the weather would be cold enough for this ensemble, and Mother Nature did not fail me: huge flakes of snow falling today!


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I Strive to Share Your Compassion {Girl Between The Lines}

It is a really weird feeling, being the older sister but looking up so much to your younger sister. I feel like I’m the one who should be passing down good solid advice on boys, friendships, and life. In all actuality, it is my sister who is the wiser one on the subject. She is the person who calls me out on choices that I make, and to be honest, sometimes I resent her for it. In my selfish assuredness, I know what I’m doing, and I feel like I don’t need to be told. 


But my sister isn’t afraid to be who she is, even when telling the truth to her older sister makes her mad, or she  has to make hard choices.


In all my life, I have never seen someone with a bigger heart full of compassion.


She thinks about things and people that have never even crossed my mind. She wants to bring cookies to her teachers, even the ones she doesn’t like. She is intentional about reaching out to those who are going through hard times. She loves without holding back. She loves those who have been her best friends for years, and she loves those who have hurt her. Her heart hurts for those who are hurting. Her heart sings for those who are going through good times.


Abigail displays the most selfless compassion out of anyone I’ve ever known. 

And I strive to share in her compassion.



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Having the Choice {Girl Between the Lines Linkup}

With the start of a New Year is the turn of a new leaf. It’s like a Super Monday and you can start your diet all over again (or not). I’m all the time wanting to change something about myself, but I never really make an effort to do so. 

In addition to blogging, I journal on my own. For me, it is a great way to sort out my thoughts and my prayer; a (sometimes painful) reflection of who I am. I recently got a new journal for my twentieth birthday, cause it was high time for something new. I was journaling last night as 2013 was coming to a close, but I didn’t have the strength to flip back to pages of the previous months. In those pages were one of my greatest adventures: working at a safehouse in the Dominican Republic. But also in those pages were a very angry girl. Anyone who would read my journal would think they had stolen the diary of a mad black woman whose emotions were out of control. In one entry I am happy, but in the next entry the pages are filled with hate and anger and tears.

Sad, but true.

As 2014 starts, I’m wanting to do two things differently, but it’s up to me. I have to choose to do things differently.

I don’t want to dwell in the past anymore. I do that far too often, and it is neither healthy nor beneficial. Memories are lovely for visiting, but I cannot expect the next chapter of life to continue after I’ve already turned the page. I want to look forward to the life ahead of me. I want to be present and available to what Christ has in store for me in my future. According to Rafiki, none of what happened in the past matters now, because it’s all in the past. I should probably listen to that freaky monkey.

Secondly, I don’t want to be an angry person anymore. I want to make the choice to let go of my anger, and a be a happier me. I’ve used apathy to cover up my anger, but apathy is not any better. I read in a book once that said, “the apathetic life is a dangerous life.” I don’t want a danerous life full of apathy. I want a life full of love and happiness. But I have to make that choice.

So here I am, cheers to 2014!


Girl Between the Lines Link up
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10 Reasons I’m a Terrible English Major

1. Scansion. What. the heck. is scansion? I even had to google the word to make sure I spelled it right. The truth is folks, don’t ever ask me about scansion. If you do, this is my answer:


 So there’s that

2. The list of readings I hate:

  •  Poetry
  • Shakespeare
  • I just had to do two of these. Prose before hoes? I’m dying. Can’t. Even.
The two staples of English majorism. You pretty much have to love Shakespeare, and who are you if you don’t like poetry? I will admit, though, that since taking 20th Century Lit I have fallen in love with many of the poets of this time period.

3. I don’t read everything. I can’t admit this to too many professors, because they all already think I’m a horrible person for speaking my mind against Shakespeare. I had a professor say once that if you are an English major and you do not read all of your assigned readings, for your English classes and other classes, you are a disgrace.

4. Sometimes people talk about authors and poets that they love and I just nod and pretend along like I totally know what they’re talking about. They go on and on and I just stare into my coffee, hoping they don’t notice I have no idea who they are talking about.


5. I talk about drinking tea. But rarely do I drink tea. I’m so unrefined.

Yeah I guess I’m done. Reasons I’d be a terrible math major: clearly I can’t count.



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The Grand Adventures of the Dominican Republic {Week 4}

Well, it’s all over. I am home now and I told myself if I didn’t write this last blog post that I had to clean my room. Obviously blogging won.
I don’t know if you all realized this or not, but I basically spent 31 days at a slumber party with 6 beautiful women and a bunch of kids. Granted, I was usually the first to bed and the last to wake up. This meant I got to find fake snakes in my bed. But it’s all good, because we all had so much fun. We had dance parties and many movie nights. These girls are creatures of habit. They watched movies over. and over. and over. Seriously. My favorite was when we watched Ella Enchanted 6,498,302 times because it was in English with Spanish subtitles. I didn’t have to guess what was going on.. granted I didn’t have to pay attention too much to the dialogue when we watched Anaconda over and over. I got that plot pretty clearly. The anaconda eats everybody. The CGI in that movie is priceless. 
Last Wednesday night I went to El SueƱos again with Erica for ice cream and pop and to talk about my time in the DR. It was such a blessing to get to know Erica better and to just talk about life in general. She gave me some great insight on working with anti-human trafficking, and just life as a Christian woman, and relationships and stuff. It was so much fun. 
Thursday was probably my favorite night by far. I went out with Yajaida and Erica onto the streets of Juan Dolio to talk with prostitutes, hear their prayer requests, and pray for them. My heart reaches out to all the ladies we met and hugged and spoke with. I realized that these girls are just like me, but they have not been privileged with the blessings that I have. They are working to support families in a terrible economy. Even if they are just prostituting themselves for a drug addiction, it is like an endless circle of chaos. They take drugs to numb their emotions to the life they are living – then they sell themselves to do more drugs. It is heartbreaking, but so encouraging because I see how God has worked through the lives of the ladies in the Lily House. Both sides of the equation show that no one at all is outside God’s grace. It was on this night where I was totally reaffirmed that yes, this is definitely what I want to do with my life. I want to spend my whole life reaching out and loving on women who feel unloved.
Friday was my last day working in “the womb” with the girls. “The womb” is where the girls make jewelry below the shops. It was bitter-sweet for me. I was happy that my nails would stop breaking from trying to clamp a bunch of clasps, but I was so, so sad to leave these girls. They had become my sisters! 
Saturday I supported the ladies through attending their business. I suffered for Jesus and charity by getting a massage and a pedicure. I know, guys, rough life.
Sunday morning a bunch of churches came together in Boca Chica for a big church service. We worshipped together, sometimes in Spanish and sometimes in English, and enjoyed two services. One service was in English and translated in Spanish. The second service was just straight Spanish. And I’ll be honest – I completely zoned out on this one. Carter translated again this Sunday and he was wearing a green shirt. I know this is a weird fact, but Carter’s eyes literally change colors with the shirt he is wearing. If he wears a light green shirt, his eyes are light green. Blue shirt = blue eyes. I wonder what would happen if he wore a red shirt . . . I was pretty fascinated by this fact, though.
A mission group hosted a conference for the women of Juan Dolio, and on Monday the Lily House ladies and I attended. It was in Spanish and English (score) and was so much fun! 
Tuesday was my last day at the Lily House. *insert dramatic face* I spent the entirety of Tuesday morning reading books to the kids and pulling out Jennifer’s teeny-tiny black girl braids. It was during this tedious task when I decided that yep, I definitely want my children to be black. God knows the desires of my heart. If I have to adopt, so be it. Merphi fell asleep in my lap and drooled and sweat all over me on Tuesday afternoon and I absolutely loved every single minute of it.
I had to say goodbye to the kids on Tuesday, and it was somewhat heart-wrenching. I didn’t cry then, and I haven’t cried yet, but the emotions are definitely there. They have yet to be released. I also went to say goodbye to the ladies on Tuesday, but I ended up going over on Wednesday to say goodbye to the ladies one more time.
I honestly don’t feel like I just spent a month in a third world country, in a house without air conditioning, where it was considered a small victory when I got to flush the toilet, with a bunch of ladies and kids who liked to wake up, turn the light on, and sing at the top of their lungs 2 1/2 hours before they had to be somewhere. I was out of my comfort zone many times. I was lonely many times. But I also created friendships with these girls that I will never forget. They are my sisters in Christ, and I take comfort in the fact that one day I will get to hug them and talk with them about anything and everything in heaven because we will all understand each other. 
I was so, so extremely blessed by the loving support of countless friends and family. When I started this summer I said that I wanted to trust God more. God stripped my life of many things I held onto and while I found peace and comfort in His word, I didn’t know what was going on. Then on June 19 I found out that I’m going to spend a month in a foreign country. I prayed and told my friends about this amazing opportunity that I had been presented, and raised more support than I needed – without asking a single person for a dime – in the 12 days before I left. God is just that good. He laid it on so many hearts to pitch in. I am so humbled by the fact that so many people wanted to aid me on my mission trip. I said I wanted to trust God, and He took me seriously. He forced me to trust in Him and He blessed me for it. While down in the Dominican, I had to learn even more so to abide in Him, and I began to let go and process many things that happened in my life. I felt like I was more on a sabbatical because I wasn’t constantly working, but instead I was learning so much about myself and about God. I felt ineffective many times because I was not good at making jewelry, and I felt like relationships couldn’t be established because I struggled with the language. But this forced to depend on God, and lean fully on Him. That is exactly where Christ wants me – totally dependent on Him. 
My time in la Republica Dominicana was absolutely amazing. I am eternally grateful to all of you who followed my journey on my blog, and supported me – whether monetarily or through your prayers. 
For all the photos from my trip – click here

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